Instability Rooted In My Self-Righteousness

22 Oct

Recently, our high school group has been going over a 9-week study put out by World Harvest Mission called The Gospel-Centered Life.  I have seen God do amazing things through this study as I’m beginning to see the Gospel begin to take root in some of the high school guys in a powerful way.

What I see are the faces of some of these guys literally light up as some as the Truth of the Gospel sinks into their hearts and minds.  I would highly recommend it.  However, the reason I am writing this particular post is because this study has been helping me see, often in very painful ways, how much more I am in need for the truth of the Gospel to take root in my own life.

For instance, this week, one of the things I noticed in myself was that I was just completely sapped of energy and didn’t have the usual enthusiasm for sharing the Gospel with people as I did the weeks before when, then, I felt as though if I died telling someone of the Gospel, I would die a happy man.

What the Holy Spirit revealed to me this morning (thus inspiring this entry) was that the reason why my emotions were so unstable as of late was because my sense of righteousness (being in a right standing with God) was not based on what Christ did on the cross for me, but my “good” actions.  In other words, the last couple of weeks I was “happy” (if I can even use that word) because I thought God was pleased by me doing what He wanted me to do, and subsequently not doing what He didn’t wanted me to do.

But this past weekend, when I was reminded, yet again, of my whorish tendencies (see Judges 2:16-17) to bow down to other gods for my sense of dignity, value, and significance, I felt like crap.  Why?  Because I was basing my righteousness (God being pleased with me) not on what Christ did for me on the cross, but on my performance.

What the study helped me to realize is that God is pleased with me no matter what (Hebrews 10:14).  That, in fact, by one sacrifice, He perfected me.  However, the reason He’s pleased with me isn’t because of anything that I do or don’t do (because if it was, then we’re all screwed).  But rather, He is pleased with me because of what Christ already did.  And according to Galatians 2:20, because now Christ is living in me, when God looks down at me, He is pleased.

Thank you, Jesus for the cross.  Thank you that you did for me what I could never do for myself.

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